


Re: Beautiful Ruin

by memefair



Series: Canon Divergent: Nanamicentric [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Human Nanami Chiaki, Nanami Chiaki Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-04-22 22:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14318628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memefair/pseuds/memefair
Summary: Having survived Enoshima's execution through the help of an unexpected benefactor, Chiaki watches the world crumble around her, desperately trying to help Future Foundation pick up the pieces.Takes place between the end of Despair Arc and Hope Arc, retold from Nanami Chiaki's perspective.





	1. PROLOGUE

The man who showed up at her door made no sense.

He introduced himself as Kizakura Koichi, a talent scout for the famous Hope’s Peak Academy. She’d never given the school much thought before, knowing it existed but choosing to let it stay on the outskirts of her life. Somebody like her, after all, had no place there.

The only things she had that were worth living for were her games.

Yet, here was this Kizakura, asking her mother if he could come in and sit down for a few moments to discuss her daughter with her. It took Chiaki a few moments to realize that was her, detached from the situation as she was. Reality was filtering in slowly, her mind lagging behind events, struggling to keep up.

She pulled her headphones down off her ears, letting them rest around her shoulders. She could hear them talking in the other room, but it was muffled enough that she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.

This would require the use of her practice with _espionage_.

Very carefully, she left her room, leaving the door open behind her as she tiptoed her way across the floor to the office where Kizakura and her mother were speaking. She was well used to sneaking around the house, trying to avoid her parents during one of their many arguments. Most days, she could make it to the kitchen for a snack without them noticing her.

“--don’t see how,” her mother said. “All she does is sit in her room and play games all day. She goes to those tournaments sometimes, but…” Her voice trailed off.

“Exactly.” Kizakura’s voice was new to her, but there was a warmth and mirth in it that made Chiaki decide already that she liked him. “Nanami-san,” he continued, a squeak of the chair indicating that he’d just changed position, “I am _very_ good at what I do. Trust me when I say your daughter is talented.”

Chiaki wrinkled her nose in disbelief.

“You haven’t even spoken with her,” Kazue pointed out.

“I’ve seen her at work.”

An image flashed into her head of a stylishly dressed blonde man, standing out amongst the crowd of like-minded young adults as she fought her way towards victory in the local arcade. She hadn’t thought much of him then, but now she realized, albeit rather late, that he’d been watching her for quite a while before he wandered off again. Focused on her games as she was, he’d faded from memory.

“From what I understand, students at Hope’s Peak have _useful_ talents. Things like Mechanic, or Blacksmith, or… Detective. My daughter is barely passing her classes at school.”

Her mother’s words made her heart sink into her chest. It was true that Chiaki’s grades left a lot to be desired, but did she have to mention that to every adult she came across? Only a few months ago she’d heard her mother say almost the exact same thing to Uncle Fujisaki on one of his rare visits.

“That’s not something you have to worry about,” Kizakura said, tone dropping to something more placating. “Any student who graduates from Hope’s Peak is guaranteed to be successful, so long as they continue to be exemplary in their field.”

“I see.”

Kazue’s voice was cold, but she didn’t try to debate, thankfully.

Chiaki breathed out, relieved that her mother was apparently abandoning her crusade of making her daughter look like a fool in front of the talent scout from Hope’s Peak.

“She would be the first Ultimate Gamer to be admitted in the entire school’s history,” Kizakura went on to explain. “The school is very interested in her talent.”

Chiaki fell back, heart pounding faintly in her chest. It was too much to take in all at once. For the moment, she retreated back to her room, letting the door shut with a quiet click behind her. She needed to assess the situation.

For the first time in her life, she thought, _I could have a future._

She’d accepted it before, all of it: Her incompetence, her antisocial tendencies, her struggles with school, her poor relationship with her parents. A long time ago, she’d given up on herself, and she was only just fully realizing it now that she actually had a chance.

It hurt. It was like somebody was driving a dull blade into her chest, even though the news was good.

Chiaki sank down to the floor, holding her head in her hands. _But I’ll still be the same person,_ she reminded herself. _The same dumb, boring, obsessive, oblivious…_

She couldn’t change.

Maybe, though, she could fake it.

She could pretend to be the kind of hero she always saw in her games. The outgoing and vibrant hero who knew everybody by name, who everyone longed to be with or be friends with, who was always saving the day no matter how difficult things got. If she managed it long enough, maybe she could even _become_ that person.

It was what she wanted more than anything in the world. For too long, she’d remained in the world of her games because it was the only palatable alternative to a world that seemed far too bleak in comparison.

A world where she could never make anything of herself, as opposed to a world where she could protect everything that was important to her… a world where good won against evil, nine times out of ten.

Nanami Chiaki could be a hero.

Or, if not a hero, then she could at least be somebody important to the hero, unlike the person she was now, an outcast almost everywhere she went. She could _help_ people.

Tears pricked her eyes. She wiped at them hastily, reminding herself not to cry. It wasn’t a habit she wanted to get into.

After she composed herself, Chiaki crawled into bed and closed her eyes. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, not with the possibilities whirling in her head, but it was better if her mother thought she was taking a nap.

After about half an hour, she heard the door creak open. Soft footsteps entered the room, but she didn’t budge. A sigh escaped her mother’s lips, and then she exited again. Chiaki waited until she was certain she was gone, and then pulled her phone off the table by her bed.

[ to HIRO-KUN: i think i’m going to be going to hope’s peak! ]

Satisfied but anxious, her stomach tying itself in knots, she laid her phone down again and tried to get some rest.

If only she’d known just how twisted her own fate would become, tangled with that of Hope’s Peak until it strangled her.


	2. In Wonderland, With the Hatter

Civilization came tumbling down.

It fell like dominos, each piece knocking over the next, until all that was left was ruin and decay. Even the sky wept, pollution turning it crimson, the rain itself poisoning the land instead of giving it life as it intended.

They lost count of how many people died. Entire cities went dark, or burned, or were bombed into oblivion. Wars broke out, the most notable one being in Novoselic. Despite its small size, it had enough of an arsenal to not only tear itself apart, but every country surrounding it.

She watched it all from a hospital bed at first, unable to do anything but focus on her own recovery. Once the wounds in her leg and foot had healed enough, she had to go through physical therapy just to be able to walk again.

That day was nothing but a blur to her. She couldn’t remember anything other than the agony, and the chilly red gaze of someone she had once called friend staring down at her.

Tengan Kazuo reached out to her, inviting her to join Future Foundation as the head of the 13th Branch. Chiaki declined, on the basis that she didn’t feel like she deserved a position as leader after what happened with her classmates. Instead she joined as an intern, trained and then took up a position as a courier, running messages and packages back and forth across Japan now that the Postal System had been eliminated.

The last bastion of humanity was Towa City, and even that crumbled. She volunteered to be part of the force sent to rescue those held captive by Enoshima Junko, but found herself fighting for her life instead, only surviving thanks to the hacking gun she was given upon arrival.

Chiaki breathed out, kicking a can in the empty street so she could watch it clatter away. The area remained silent. No Monokumas activated upon hearing the sudden noise, so she figured she was free, at least for the moment.

Leaning back against a wall, she took out a roll of bandages and began to wind them around a deep scratch in her arm. It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do for the moment.

The can came rolling back.

Her right hand immediately found the hacking gun holstered on her belt. A figure approached, walking like a mannequin, its steps uneven and its arms swinging freely. Then it straightened up, gazing at her.

The first thing she noticed were the bandages wrapped around his thighs. They were stained red, much like the poor patch up job she’d done on herself. That explained his uneven gait.

Her eyes were drawn upwards as the figure let out a familiar chuckle, manic grin spreading across his pale face. She dropped the roll of bandages, letting them slip from clumsy fingers to hit the ground below.

“I must be seeing things,” Komaeda murmured.

Chiaki pressed her back against the wall. He came closer, still limping, but more sure of his steps now.

“You’re dead.”

On the one hand, out of all the Remnants, Komaeda was one of the weakest. He’d always been so frail, as if he might collapse at any moment. On the other hand… nobody knew how to get under her skin like him. She cared about him, and that left her defenseless against his barbs.

He seemed to think he was blessing her when he was poisoning her instead, back when they’d been classmates and she’d tried to reach out to him.

“Miss Class Rep… Aha, Nanami-san, forgive me! I had almost forgotten your name already,” Komaeda laughed. He came closer, and then quick as a whip he reached out and snatched up her arm, his nails digging into the cut. Her own reaction was sluggish, flinching back from his approach, though she was too slow to fend him off.

Chiaki yelped in pain and struck him across the face, tearing herself out of his grip so she could scuttle away like a wounded animal.

The smile dropped from his face. “I’m so sorry… Filth like me doesn’t have the right to touch someone who shines so brightly. Forgive me, Nanami-san.”

Cornered, Chiaki just kept her eyes out for an escape route.

The smile returned.

“That reminded me of someone,” he said. “Ah, you’re so much like Yukizome-sensei… I see the same desperation in your face as when she came to save us.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Chiaki begged him. Her skin crawled when he spoke. “Don’t talk like  _ her. _ What happened to hope?”

The corners of his mouth twitched.

“Don’t you know the sky is always most beautiful after a terrible storm, Nanami-san?” He raised one hand (covered with a mitten, she observed, fascinated yet horrified) to rub his face where she’d slapped him. “The hope that will come from all this despair… It will be the hope to end all hope! A masterpiece!”

He’d been fixated on the concept before, but now it was clear that Enoshima had driven him mad. Thankfully, he seemed to know better than to approach her like that again. His fingertips were still stained red with her blood, and he made no effort to wipe it off.

Chiaki swallowed.

“Nothing good can come from something this… this…”

Her words failed her. She tried to speak around a dry mouth and couldn’t quite manage it.

Komaeda ignored her. “You haven’t met  _ him _ yet, have you?” he asked her. 

Without warning, he stooped down, and Chiaki prepared herself to fend him off again.

But he did something entirely unexpected: He picked the roll of bandages up off the ground, and then put his hands up in a placating gesture as he once again approached her. Mystified, she didn’t move as he gently wrapped the roll around her injured arm. He hummed a tuneless song as he worked, and once he was done, he handed the roll to her and took a few steps back.

“You should find somewhere to hide,” Komaeda said. “This game will be over soon. Naegi Komaru  _ will _ end it, one way or the other.” He shook his head, wild hair bouncing around his face. She wondered when he’d last brushed it. “Such an ordinary, talentless girl…”

Chiaki couldn’t stop herself. “Naegi-san is alive?”

“For now.” Komaeda shrugged.

“Where is she?”

He raised a finger to his lips. “It’s no fun if I spoil the ending for you, now is it? You of all people should know that.”

Chiaki made a noise of frustration in the back of her throat. For someone who claimed to be lower than dirt, he certainly knew how to maintain that aura of smug superiority.

Komaeda laughed again, though he sounded drained now. “You’re a very strange ghost, Nanami-san.”

She didn’t argue. It was probably better, if he thought he was hallucinating. He was less likely to tell the others. If they got word that she was still alive, she wasn’t certain they would leave her alone. They might try to hunt her down and finish the job Enoshima started.

“Well, no matter.” He turned to leave, and she stared after him. “If you really  _ are _ alive, you should bring even more hope into this world. And if you’re dead, then you’ve made an  _ excellent _ stepping stone.”

As he walked away, a million thoughts buzzed around her head at once. All she could do was finger the bandages he’d wrapped around her arm, though, watching until he was gone. Her legs wouldn’t obey her. The encounter left her even more weary than before.

_ Who did he mean by “him”? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're all a little mad here.


	3. A Fated Meeting?

“Thank goodness you’re here,” the woman said, hurrying forward to take the keys from Chiaki when she offered them up. “We were worried you weren’t-- did something happen?”

Chiaki smiled, using her now empty right hand to hold a bloodied cloth to her left. “I ran into some trouble at the place I stayed overnight… It’s not too bad, really.”

She’d been told it was a safe location, but that information had been proven inaccurate. She swore she got hurt every week in some manner, even if it was just bruises in self defense practice. Nothing really compared to being impaled through the leg and the foot, though, so she bore it with dignity.

“You should get it checked out at the infirmary, at least,” Chiaki was told. “It’s this way. I’ll show you.”

She limped after the other woman on her swollen ankle, leaving behind the supply van she’d brought. That, at least, hadn’t been damaged. Her body could heal, but finding the appropriate parts to fix a vehicle could be rather difficult.

When they reached the infirmary, she was told to wait. She did so, thinking it was actually rather pleasant to stop and catch her breath. _I’ll get something to eat after this,_ she told herself. _Some water… Somewhere with an actual bed to sleep in, hopefully._ She didn’t have to return for a couple of days, so she could relax and enjoy herself, just for a little while.

Her hand and ankle throbbed, but she pushed them to the back of her mind.

When the door opened, Chiaki didn’t bother glancing up. “Good morning,” she called quietly. “I just need a few stitches, and then I’ll be on my way… probably.”

“You’ll need more than a few stitches.”

 

 

> _“A-are you okay?”_
> 
> _It took a few moments for the situation to sink in. Once it did, Chiaki took a step back, really examining the boy she’d walked into. Well, it was her fault, really, so she was lucky he didn’t snap at her. The fact that he showed concern at all was surprising. Other than that, he seemed to be rather ordinary._
> 
> _“...yeah,” Chiaki mumbled, and kept walking._

 

Her chair shot back, screeching across the tile floor. Her entire body had gone cold. She’d reacted fast enough, without thinking at all, that she toppled backwards. Chiaki hit the ground with an “oof”, just narrowly avoiding a collision with the wall behind her.

 

 

> _“Hinata-kun… Hinata-kun, right? You’re Hinata-kun, aren’t you?”_
> 
> _Familiar, but alien. She didn’t know how to process the vision in front of her._
> 
> _“What happened to your hair…?”_
> 
> _She tried a weak smile, just for show._
> 
> _“Who are you?” he asked._

 

Chiaki wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she said, shivering. She wasn’t thinking about her injuries or even her own body anymore. She drifted somewhere further, mouth on autopilot. “You shouldn’t be here.”

 

 

> _“I don’t want to die!” she cried out, still struggling to stand on legs that wouldn’t support her. Not on their own, not like this, punctured through and leaking heavily. She could feel it seeping out of her, all the warmth evaporating. “I-- I love you all so much--”_
> 
> _Funny. She’d never been able to say it, before._

 

She forced the memory down like bile in her throat, putting a clamp on it so it would stay where it belonged.

“I’m here, regardless,” Kamukura said calmly, not an ounce of emotion in his voice. “I’ll treat your injuries, if you’ll allow it.” From the way it was stated, it seemed clear to Chiaki that he didn’t much care one way or the other.

Chiaki opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Evacuating her body for the moment, she felt herself stand, picking the chair back up and placing it on the floor so she could once more sit. She presented Kamukura with her hand.

There was silence in the room as he worked. She wondered faintly if the actual medic would ever be coming back. _I should be worried about myself,_ Chiaki thought. The pain as Kamukura picked bits of glass out of her hand was far away. _Strange… I suppose if he wanted to hurt me, he would have, though._

He was able to locate all the instruments within the room with no trouble. When he finished stitching up the cuts in her hand, he examined her ankle. _How long has he been watching me?_ It was a troubling thought. It became even more troubling when he said, “Roll your sleeve up. Let me see the cut on your arm.”

_Since Towa City…? Has he been watching me since Towa City?_

He _couldn’t_ have been observing her for more than a week. That would have been incredibly dull. He must have lost track of her and found her again at some point. But that implied he would have looked for her, and she didn’t like that thought. What did he want?

Yet she obeyed wordlessly, pushing her sleeve up. He removed her bandages, and if Chiaki had been more present in the situation, she would have winced.

“As I thought,” Kamukura said. “Whoever patched this up did a poor job.”

“We didn’t have an actual doctor,” Chiaki murmured. “We had to make do with what we had.”

He made a noise of disapproval, but Chiaki was too tired to argue. The caffeine pills she’d taken to get her through the early morning were starting to wear off, and Kamukura’s appearance had thoroughly shaken her. All she wanted was to relax, but life always had surprises in store for her.

She was starting to come back into herself, though. As he fixed up the wounds she’d received in Towa, the wheels turned in her head.

“Tengan-san told me everything he knew about the project,” she said. “But it wasn’t much.” He hadn’t approved, but he’d been powerless to stop it. Even Headmaster Kirigiri had little say. All the power went to the Steering Committee.

“I see.”

He didn’t say anything after that. Chiaki sighed. _He’s certainly talkative._ It seemed she’d have to keep poking him to get him to speak.

She pressed onward. “I’d like to know more about it.”

There was a _snip_ as he neatly cut through a fresh roll of bandages. “Tell me what you already know,” he said.

For a moment, Chiaki studied him. Masses of dark hair fell down his back, past his waist nearly to the ground below. Despite the length of it, it seemed to be well cared for, as did his clothes. His face, which she’d recognized almost instantly, had aged since she’d known him as Hinata. She didn’t think he’d grown height-wise, which was a relief, considering how he’d already been a full head taller than her.

It was his eyes that really made the difference, to her. She missed the kindness in Hinata’s green gaze, even when he was ready with a sarcastic or biting remark. Kamukura’s crimson stare held nothing for her, as far as she could tell. Nothing for anyone. If he felt anything at all, then he hid it well.

“Hinata-kun consented.” That was worse, somehow, than if they’d forced him. “Tengan-san said… they wanted someone to host every talent. And they erased his identity in the process, and named the new one after the founder of the school. That’s all I know. And… I want to know more, I think.”

He didn’t give her much of a warning.

Kamukura launched into a very technical explanation of what he knew of the project, starting with reports he read of how they prepared Hinata for the process. He could remember none of it first hand, but from the sounds of it, their goal was not just to recreate Hinata’s mind, but his body as well. The surgeries they performed were part of the deal. It was a miracle she'd recognized him at all.

When they were satisfied with the results, and the newly christened Kamukura was ready, they set about testing him. He was made to participate in all kinds of dangerous activities, in order to make sure the project had been a success. When they weren’t testing him, he was given a room with a single bed, locked away until they needed him again.

That was where Enoshima found him.

Chiaki’s mouth was dry. Kamukura clinically described what would have been considered torture to any other human being, detached as if it had happened to somebody else. All for the sake of a tool the Steering Committee could use, somebody figuratively and literally shaped to pursue their own personal hope.

It made her sick to her stomach.

“The scars,” she said after a moment of silence. “May I see?”

The average person might have found such a request rude. But Kamukura took his jacket off, folding it and laying it out on the counter beside him. When he began to remove his tie, Chiaki started, realizing what he intended to do.

She hurriedly cut him off. “J-just your arm will do!” she stuttered out, blushing.

He raised an eyebrow, but did as she requested, pushing his sleeve up much like she had done for him earlier. Though the scars from his surgeries had mostly healed, she could still faintly make them out. They decorated his arm, scattered throughout, Chiaki unable to determine if they followed any particular pattern. She found herself tracing them with her fingers, noting how pale his skin was compared to Hinata’s. _Almost like a corpse._

He was warm, though. If not for that, she might have actually thought he was dead. _His heart’s beating. It’s perfectly functional. He’s like something out of a game, but… he’s human. Despite what the Steering Committee did to him._

“Did you kill the Student Council, like Enoshima said?” Chiaki asked him.

“I killed one of them in self defense.”

She reminded herself that he could be lying. She wouldn’t be able to tell, if he was.

“And the rest?”

“They killed each other.”

_The first Mutual Killing,_ Chiaki remembered.

She released her hold on his arm. _Hinata-kun’s arm… No, not anymore._ She knew she had to give up the hope that all this was a bad dream, that Hinata still existed somewhere… but it put a bitter taste in her mouth to think that she truly would never see him again.

“Kamukura-kun,” Chiaki said slowly, feeling out how the name felt on her tongue. “...It’s not that I trust you. Not yet, anyway. But… I’d like to get to know you… maybe.”

All he’d ever known was the Steering Committee and Enoshima. It was no wonder he’d watched her bleed out there on the floor. He’d never been taught to care about other people, only himself and what he could accomplish. It was a miracle Enoshima had never converted him to her side, or else the world wouldn't have stood a chance against their combined abilities.

_Why, though?_ Chiaki wondered. _He was helping her, and now… He’s helping me._

She hoped it wasn’t part of some plot on his part.

He said something. Chiaki perked up, blinking rapidly as she realized she hadn’t been paying attention. “Huh?”

Was it just her imagination, or was there a hint of annoyance in his voice this time? “I see no reason to decline,” Kamukura stated again. _For now,_ Chiaki silently added, wondering just how long he would put up with her before he grew bored and wandered off again.

“Well, then… I suppose it’s nice to finally meet you, Kamukura-kun.” She stuck out her uninjured hand for a handshake, unsure what else to do in such a strange situation.

He glanced at it, but didn’t hesitate to take it and shake it. _A perfect handshake,_ she noted. _No surprise there._

“You won’t be so startled by my next appearance, presumably.” Was he smug? Was he making fun of her for the way she’d reacted earlier? Was that even _possible?_

Chiaki scowled, cheeks puffing out as she looked away. She wasn’t normally one for such overreaction, but the suddenness, coupled with the memories it brought back… It hadn’t been pleasant. She wanted to point that out, but another thought occurred to her.

“The actual doctor,” she said, “will she be coming back?

“She merely slept in. I had no contact with her.”

“Ah.”

She was relieved, assuming he was telling the truth. If he’d done anything, she likely would have called their new alliance off then and there. Even so, she’d have to be on her guard.

_Friends with Kamukura Izuru… My day can’t possibly get any weirder._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise double upload! got this done a bit earlier than i thought and i got some bad news today so i wanted the attention, so sue me. additional content: a very important excerpt from where i left off writing this last night https://i.gyazo.com/2af14145e538d9963969769299181626.png
> 
> chiaki: i need to be on my guard  
> also chiaki: *is sleeping with him a year later*


	4. Festival of Stars

Chiaki watched the tanzaku flutter in the wind. The mismatched pieces of paper brought back memories of hunting for yukatas in their sizes with Sonia and Saionji. The Novoselic princess had been so excited to attend her first Tanabata, and when Saionji realized neither of them were very experienced with more traditional manners of dress, she’d been ecstatic to help… after firing off a few rounds of insults at Chiaki for not embracing her cultural heritage, of course.

“Nanami-chan,” Asahina called excitedly, “c’mon! The food court is over this way!”

Chiaki sighed, though she didn’t hesitate to follow after her friend. Except for the red sky above them, this was almost… normal.

That had been the goal, after all. Future Foundation had collaborated with the city of Sendai to put on one of their famous Tanabata Festivals, in an effort to lift the spirits of their citizens. The 13th Branch had spearheaded the effort to bring in enough food for the masses. Chiaki and Asahina both worked hard to help put this together. It wasn’t just the prospect of a meal that pleased Asahina-- she wanted to see the fruit of their labors on full display.

Chiaki had been friends with a few of the 78th class members back in the day, but Asahina had escaped her notice. It probably had something to do with her fear of deep water, but she’d never paid much attention to the swimmer. If she was grateful for one thing, it was that the Tragedy had brought them together.

Though… their friendship could be rather taxing.

“ _ Look! _ ” Asahina had grabbed three full skewers of takoyaki. “Isn’t this amazing? C’mon, c’mon!”

Not wasting any time, she dragged Chiaki over to the next stall. She took a bite of her food, and spoke with her mouth full. “Painted th’ m’self!” she said, indicating a cute cartoon fish on the sign.

Next: The ramen stand. “This all looks so  _ good! _ ”

Then to one of the sweets vendors... then, back to the ramen stand… and then Asahina spotted the donuts, and no force on heaven or earth could have stopped her from racing straight there. The entire time, Chiaki trailed behind her, with no idea where Asahina got all her energy.

Three nonstop purchases of food and related items later, and Chiaki was completely out of breath. She was still nursing a popsicle when Asahina announced that she was going to use the bathroom, and Chiaki quietly but firmly told her she was staying put.

Grateful for a moment to rest, Chiaki sat down at one of the open tables. She took out her DS and began to play, finishing off her popsicle in a matter of seconds now that she finally had time to enjoy it. Distracted, she didn’t notice when somebody took a seat beside her.

It was another few minutes until the new arrival spoke up.

“You seem rather busy,” he observed.

“...mmh,” Chiaki mumbled.

“I suppose I’ll leave you to it, then.”

He stood up to leave, and that was when it finally sank in.

“Ka--” Chiaki bit her tongue, not wanting to say his name loud enough that anybody else might hear it. 

She rose and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him back. She couldn’t tell if he was amused or annoyed by her rather late epiphany, as usual. “Kamukura-kun,” she whispered, keeping her voice low. “I didn’t think you’d come. Festivals… don’t really seem like your kind of thing.”

She’d mentioned what they were working on, after all. It wasn’t like it was a Future Foundation secret.

In the sea of people wearing casual summer clothes and yukatas, he stuck out like a sore thumb. Over the course of the last half a year, Chiaki had begun to wonder if he ever changed out of that suit. Did he just have a bunch of identical ones? No… did he have  _ any _ personal belongings at all?

“I’ve never attended a festival,” Kamukura stated. “I had no reason to.”

_ That’s right,  _ Chiaki reminded herself.  _ There’s so many things he hasn’t been able to do, because the Steering Committee kept him locked up… and then Enoshima had him wrapped around her little finger, at least for a little while.  _ And then the world crumbled, and his opportunities would have been few and far in between.

“And your reason today is…?”  _ Hopefully it’s not to mess with it.  _ So far, Kamukura had been a perfect gentleman, surprisingly. They held drastically different viewpoints on the world, but he never got her involved in anything she didn’t want to do.

“You’re here.” The way he said it, he seemed to think it was an obvious conclusion.

Chiaki’s face immediately heated up. She tried to stutter out a response, but she couldn’t think of anything to say.

Thankfully, she was saved by Asahina hurrying up to the two of them. “I’m back!” She seemed to have acquired more stuff on her way back, somehow.

She plopped down next to them with a smile, dropping her findings on the table. That was when she noticed Kamukura. “Oh, Nanami-chan, is this a friend of yours?”

Then, to Chiaki’s horror, she misjudged the expression and pink tinge on her face. Asahina leaned in conspiratorially. “A  _ boyfriend _ , maybe?”

Chiaki choked.

Asahina’s impish grin suggested she’d gotten exactly the response she wanted. She passed a cup of water over to Chiaki, who drank it gratefully.

Kamukura corrected Asahina, seeing that Chiaki was a bit preoccupied. “We are not romantically involved,” he said, without a twitch of an eye to indicate whether he was bothered by the notion or not. Chiaki took another swig of water, still coughing.

_ Why is that something I want to know, anyway?  _ She shoved the thought down into the recesses of her mind.

Asahina sighed dreamily, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. “Ah, well. I guess a Tanabata date is too much to ask for, these days…”

Chiaki frowned. “It wouldn’t even be  _ your _ date,” she muttered, shooting Asahina a cross look.

“What’s wrong with living vicariously through others?”

“Lots of things,” Chiaki said, “probably.”

Asahina proceeded to ignore her, instead focusing her gaze on Kamukura. “Hey, hey, you haven’t introduced me yet! What’s your name? Where are you from? How long have you known Nanami-chan?”

He opened his mouth to reply, and with a sudden sickening horror, Chiaki realized what he intended to say. She elbowed him under the table, and he stopped, likely reading her in an instant. She didn’t know if it was out of respect for her wishes, or because he wanted to see what horrible lie she’d come up with.

“K…” Chiaki’s mind blanked. She tried to come up with an alias on the spot, and failed.  _ Think of something, dummy!  _ she yelled at herself. “K...Kiryu! Izu… ho!”

Kamukura shot her a look.

Asahina blinked, tilting her head. “Kiryu Izuho…?” she echoed, trying it out. She didn’t seem to think Chiaki’s behavior was odd. Perhaps the coughing fit from earlier covered up the awkward way Chiaki spelled out the lie. That, or Asahina was more trusting than most. “Ah… Nice to meet you, Kiryu-kun! I’m Asahina Aoi.”

“I know,” Kamukura said smoothly.

Asahina wasn’t even thrown off by that. “Oh, you do? That makes this a little easier,” she replied cheerfully. “Guess you kept up with sports before the Tragedy, huh?”

“In a way.”

_ This is bad,  _ Chiaki thought to herself.  _ I’m a horrible liar, but if Kamukura-kun has his way, he won’t lie at all. I need to make sure he lets me answer all the questions… but he won’t like that, I think… _

“W-we were friends before the Tragedy too!” Chiaki interjected. “Um… to answer your question from earlier, I mean. Ch… childhood friends, actually! For a little while, I mean… He moved away, um…” Her face was steadily getting more and more red, but she tried to hide it, looking away so Asahina couldn’t read her expression.

There was an awkward pause as Asahina waited for her to finish her sentence.

“Your obi is crooked,” Kamukura finally said. 

_ Mercy,  _ Chiaki cried silently.  _ Thank you so much. _

“Can you fix it for me?” she asked him, recovering in record time. “Somebody showed me how to do it a few years ago, but…” Well, Koizumi wasn’t around to help her this time, and Asahina wasn’t much better off than Chiaki herself.

“Stand up.”

Chiaki obeyed, and as Kamukura straightened out her yukata, Asahina went to town on the snacks she’d bought. None of them spoke, the air filled with the excited shouts of passersby and the sounds of Asahina eating with gusto.

It didn’t take long for Kamukura to finish his adjustments. Chiaki thanked him and sat down again, reaching over to pick a ball of takoyaki off Asahina’s plate. Asahina glared at her, then relented, and Chiaki popped it into her mouth.

After she’d finished chewing, she turned back to Kamukura. “Have you been enjoying the festival?” she asked him, trying to make casual conversation even though she knew what the answer would be.

“It’s been… dull,” he said with an air of superiority in his voice. “As I expected.”

“Nobody’s forcing you to stay,” Chiaki retorted.

“It’s not over yet,” he reminded her. “And I don’t have any other plans. Perhaps something interesting will happen.”

“There’s fireworks!” Asahina told them both, taking a break from inhaling her food for the moment. “They’re not gonna be anything  _ amazing _ , but it’s still really cool that we got them at all, right?”

“Maybe we should find a seat,” Chiaki said, “so we get a good view.”

She noticed how she was now including Kamukura in their plans. He’d casually inserted himself into their group, and it would be impossible to get him to leave without being rude. Besides, it’s not like she  _ wanted  _ him to leave. If he’d never been to a festival, then he’d probably never seen fireworks, either.

He’d likely find them boring like everything else, but it was the thought that counted most.

When Asahina had finished eating, the three of them headed out again. Chiaki lagged behind with Kamukura, who apparently saw no reason to keep up with Asahina’s pace. At one point, they lost sight of the swimmer entirely within the crowd.

“She’ll probably get us a decent spot.” Chiaki laughed as she said it.

She preferred to take her time, anyway. The atmosphere surrounding the festival was something she missed. They all held anxieties that something could go wrong, but everyone was doing their best to have a good time anyway. It was hard not to smile and indulge in the carefree mood.

A couple of children ran past them, laughing happily before they, too, disappeared into the crowd. Chiaki turned back to Kamukura, and found he was watching her rather intently.

“What?” she questioned, confused.  _ Do I have something on my face? _

“You’re enjoying yourself,” he commented.

And that was all he had to say. She supposed her smiles had been few and far in between lately, but she didn’t think it was anything  _ too _ out of the ordinary. Chiaki decided to file it away in her mind as another weird thing Kamukura did.

“We should hurry,” she told him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, not noticing the almost startled glance he gave their hands when they met, and didn’t let go until they’d reached the spot Asahina had claimed for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love asahina god bless me for finding a reason to include her
> 
> also, a lighthearted chapter before we start spiraling down! i considered doing something else, but this seemed like it'd be cute to write and it'd be a good chance to have izuru and chiaki interact again before i fast forward a bit.


	5. Lead a Horse to Water

Chiaki wasn’t a huge fan of islands.

Ever since she was a little girl, she’d had an intense fear of drowning. She remembered the sensation of water filling her lungs as she sank deeper and deeper, but she couldn’t quite recall when it had happened-- if at all.

Regardless, Jabberwock Island had been their best bet for a place to enact their plan. The Fourteenth Branch had found the island abandoned, and they could do as they pleased with it. Having Kirigiri, Naegi, and Togami there frequently wouldn’t be questioned. They traveled enough that they managed to pass under the radar with little suspicion.

Nanami’s presence was a little harder to swing, so she rarely saw Jabberwock, except for when she had the excuse for making a supply run. It wasn’t often. She hated boats, both for the fear open water instilled in her and the way they made her sick without fail every time she rode on one.

Besides, she wanted to do her best to keep it a secret from Izuru, who’d become more than just a friend. He’d been living with her for about eight months, and he could detect a lie a mile away.

Over the course of the last two years, they’d been working on the Neo World Program on and off. They even created a plan to get all the Remnants in one place, so they could sweep them up into the arms of the Future Foundation without revealing their true identities. 

Once that was done, her former classmates were whisked off to confinement on the island, supposedly for questioning. Instead, they were prepared for entry into the program.

“You again,” called a raspy voice, coughing as he finished his sentence. Chiaki stopped in her tracks, fixing a steely gaze on the worn-down boy in front of her. “I thought…”

His voice trailed off. He normally sounded so sure of himself, but now he was shaking, arms wrapped around himself.

“Komaeda-kun,” Chiaki said softly. “They said you’ve been refusing your water.”

He laughed, a creaky sound coming up from his parched throat. “What’s the point? I’ll die either way, locked up in your  _ prison. _ ”

“Izuru said… you’re sick.”  _ No, he said he was  _ dying _.  _ She stared down at the cup of water in her hands.

The corners of Komaeda’s mouth trembled, though his smile didn’t drop. “Such a lack of respect, Nanami-san. Don’t you understand who Kamukura-sama is?”

Chiaki opened her mouth to reply, but he just kept going.

“He is a god who will usher us into a new era of hope!” The madness in his eyes was more evident than ever before as he began to ramble, rocking back and forth there in his cell. “He is, without a doubt… this world’s  _ savior _ . No power on this earth can possibly--”

He saw the way Chiaki was looking at him, and he stopped himself.

“Unless…” Komaeda mused. “Perhaps I misunderstood.”

She flushed, uncertain of why she let him keep talking, and looked away.

If Komaeda’s hands weren’t bound, he likely would have clapped them together in delight. Instead, he just wiggled there in his restraints. “A-absolutely stupendous!” he cried out, though Chiaki couldn’t help but note the catch in his voice. “The Ultimate Hope… and the hope of our class! You could create a new  _ breed _ of hope altogether!”

Chiaki shuddered, finally finding her footing in the conversation that Komaeda had been dominating up until that point. The implication of what he’d just said wasn’t lost on her.

“ _ No. _ ” It came out sharper than intended.

Komaeda shut his mouth. “No?” he pressed, far too gently for the amount of ecstasy he’d shown just moments before.

But she refused to elaborate, to speak any more on her relationship with Izuru. A happy ending with him… No, it just didn’t seem possible. For all she’d grown to care about him over the past couple of years, their goals were far too different.

And he didn’t love her, anyway. Not really. Not as much as he loved himself and his vision of the world, everything he refused to give up for her sake.

The mere  _ idea _ of having a child with him brought chills.  _ If they turned out talentless? What then? He’d see them as garbage to be discarded, more likely than not. _

Chiaki changed the subject entirely. “You aren’t going to die here. You’re going to be put in something called the Neo World Program.”

Komaeda’s eyes narrowed.

“You will forget Enoshima,” she continued, voice quiet, “and you will forget me. Everything from Hope’s Peak will be erased from your memory.”

For all his eccentricities, she knew Komaeda was sharp as a tack. He processed this information quickly, reading between the lines as he was wont to do. Even with his illness, he understood everything.

“And then you put that version of us back in our bodies,” he stated. “Our bodies that are still tainted with despair… among  _ other _ things.”

Chiaki nodded slowly.

“Is this truly your version of hope, Nanami-san?” Any trace of mirth had left his face. He watched her as she fidgeted with the hems of her sleeves, the skin around her fingernails, anything she could get ahold of. “It’s a disease. It will spread again the instant we’re back. You really expect a  _ happy ending _ from this?”

She released a breath she’d been holding in. It did nothing to quiet her anxieties. “Naegi-kun’s vision… is different from mine,” Chiaki said. “Before the program ends, I’ve gotten permission to enter as myself and explain what’s going on.”

Once again, he understood she was leaving things unsaid. “And?” Komaeda pressed.

“...Once they know everything, I’ll give them all a choice. Either leave the program and be free, or… stay where they will be safe.”

It wasn’t something she’d discussed with Naegi. If they were given the choice, and they chose to stay, then she would stay as well. She’d be breaking an unspoken promise to everyone: Naegi, Kirigiri, Asahina… Izuru. 

It was a punishment she was willing to take, for the sake of her friends. Somebody had to be there to guide them. It was the kindest way to break the news to them, rather than jolting them back into their bodies with no warning.

As she’d told herself just moments before, a happy ending with Izuru wasn’t possible. A happy ending for  _ her _ wasn’t possible, if it didn’t include the classmates she’d sworn to protect.

For a minute, there was silence.

And then the silence was broken by a parched cackle, Komaeda throwing his head back as he laughed.

“A  _ martyr! _ ” he cried with glee. “You fancy yourself a  _ martyr _ , Nanami-san! _That's_ your version of hope!”

Shaken, Chiaki took a step back. Her hands shook, the glass full of water threatening to spill out over the edge. “I… No,” she tried to argue. “I’m just doing the right thing! That’s all!”

But Komaeda kept laughing. The sound of it paralyzed her. She didn’t understand what was so funny, until he collected himself and spoke again.

“We’re not so different after all!”

“ _ No, that’s wrong! _ ”

The words forced their way out of her mouth before she could stop them. They were projectiles, hurtling themselves toward Komaeda with reckless abandon, not caring at all that she’d shown exactly what she thought of him at this point. The revulsion she felt at the thought that their ideals could have anything in common…

_ No! It’s not true! _

Still, the harshness of the phrase helped Komaeda to sober up. He sat up straight again, legs crossed, looking at her apologetically. “Forgive me, Nanami-san. You’re right. We’re nothing alike, of course. I understand why you’d take such offense at the thought of being similar to filth like--”

There was still a hint of a smirk in his voice.

Chiaki lost sight of herself entirely. Forgetting her objective, she tipped over the glass she was holding until the water began to pour out.

Komaeda watched her every move like a hawk, his eyes wide and wanting. He hadn’t had anything to drink in the past day and a half. It had been his choice.

Still, the pain he showed was genuine as she slowly poured all of the water out of that glass. Chiaki hated herself for every moment of it, but it finally shut him up.

When it was over, she turned away from him without a word.

“Thank you,” Komaeda whispered. “I see now. Thank you.”

Chiaki shivered. She walked away, trying to brush off the words of a madman even while they clung like burrs to her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im still alive! also because i've been shamelessly plugging it everywhere else, i have a redbubble now: https://www.redbubble.com/people/memefair/shop?asc=u
> 
> there's been twice as much komaeda in this fic as i thought there would be. what the heck.


	6. Old Friends

Her fingers worked to gently untangle the knots in Sonia’s platinum blonde hair.

Sonia was far too weak to do the work herself. The survivors of the Island Killing Game had all awoken, groggy and incoherent, even Kamukura struggling to sit up. He was the first, though Chiaki had not even acknowledged him. Sonia followed him shortly after, then Owari, then Souda, and finally Kuzuryuu.

Only five of them left. Four, technically, because the version of Hinata Hajime that existed within the program had been erased alongside it.

But as the Remnants began to regain their strength, they found a clarity they hadn’t had in years. Their violent impulses, though not gone, were faded and worn.

Somehow, even though they had no memory of it, the program had worked.

So it was that Chiaki found herself sitting cross-legged behind Sonia, whose hair had been matted and tangled even before being put in the program. Several times Sonia had suggested she just cut it, but Chiaki refused.

“Your hair was always so beautiful,” Chiaki said softly. When she’d worked out a section of her hair, she ran a comb through it, straightening it out. “When I’m done with this, you can wash it, and then I’ll braid it, okay?”

Every now and then, Chiaki ran into a section in Sonia’s hair that was off-color, darker and pinker. These she removed with a shudder, putting them somewhere Sonia couldn’t see.

“When last we met,” Sonia began, “you did not know how to braid hair, Nanami-san. It seems a strange skill to have acquired during the Tragedy.”

Chiaki winced.

“...a friend taught me how,” she mumbled.

She remembered the hours she spent sitting behind Kamukura in a similar way, accepting his guidance, enjoying his company while she learned. For a time, she had always braided his hair before they went to bed. If she didn’t, she’d wake up with hair in her mouth without fail every morning.

Their relationship, strange as it was, had been one of the few good things in her life. Now she couldn’t even look him in the eye.

Sonia didn’t press further, sensing how guarded Chiaki became when she mentioned the braids. “I see,” she said. Her own voice was distant, and Chiaki knew she wasn’t entirely there at the moment.

Naegi poked his head into the room.

“Souda-kun said he’d like to see you, Nanami-san,” he called.

Chiaki glanced over at him. “Right now?” she asked him.

Naegi stepped into the doorway. He held a water bottle in one hand, and the other hand was sheepishly scratching his cheek. “When you’re available,” he explained.

Sonia managed a small smile, dipping her head in greeting. “Naegi-san. I am… grateful for your assistance,” she said.

Chiaki noted the hesitation in her voice and wondered for the millionth time if she’d done the right thing by saving their lives.

It wasn’t merciful, after all. They would have to live with what they did forever. The world would never accept them for who they were, and they’d be hunted down and executed if anybody knew their true identities.

Maybe she’d only saved them for selfish reasons. Maybe she’d saved them because, deep down, she couldn’t let them go, even if it was for the best. Maybe they would realize this, and come to hate her.

“It really isn’t a big deal,” Naegi said, chuckling. “We just saw an opportunity to help.”

Chiaki stood up abruptly. She pocketed the clumps of hair she’d cut away from Sonia’s head, and both the other occupants of the room turned to look at her. She realized she’d drawn more attention to herself than she desired, and her face flushed.

“Sorry,” Chiaki explained. “I thought I’d go talk to Souda-kun. You guys can talk here for a bit… I think.”

Earlier, Sonia had mentioned wanting a chance to speak with Naegi. She was giving her that chance now, without interruption.

She turned back to Sonia as she exited. The other girl was mildly bewildered, not understanding, and then recognition set into her eyes.

“Sorry,” Chiaki mouthed. Then, out loud: “I’ll be back soon to finish the job, don’t worry!”

The compound in which the basis for the Neo World Program had been constructed was not particularly large. It had just enough room to house each of the Remnants and four extra people. Nothing more, nothing less.

With only nine people there, it felt… empty. Chiaki’s steps echoed down the hallway as she headed for Souda’s room. She could hear Naegi and Sonia talking behind her in muted tones, and then nothing at all as she knocked and then pushed the door open.

Souda glanced up as she entered. He sat cross-legged on the floor, not unlike how Chiaki had been stationed with Sonia, but in front of him were multiple tools and gadgets. Some of them, Chiaki couldn’t identify.

Her DS was there as well.

Souda’s hair had grown out since the last time he’d dyed it. Its natural black had come back in, with only the tips dyed their usual hot pink now. His teeth, however, were just as sharp as ever, perhaps sharper.

He wore a pair of glasses that didn’t quite fit him properly and weren’t the proper prescription. When he saw her, he squinted.

“Yo, Nanami,” Souda greeted her. Like the others, his usually vibrant personality was muted. His appearance reflected that now, monochrome when it had previously contained splashes of bright color. “Fixed your DS for you.”

Chiaki smiled wryly. “Isn’t it time for a break, Souda-kun?” she asked him.

He’d been at it all day. Everyone who was up and active had gathered broken appliances from all over the islands and brought them to him. He dismantled and fixed every single one.

Chiaki had brought him her DS, even though it wasn’t _technically_ broken, because he’d been so desperate for something to do. She supposed she couldn’t blame him.

As soon as Owari was able to stand, she’d insisted on exercise. Kamukura himself was rarely spotted, lurking in the corner of her eye, never confronting her. She assumed he was keeping himself busy as well, somehow.

Kuzuryuu spent most of his time in the pod room, waiting.

Souda picked her DS up off the ground and handed it up to her. “Nah,” he said.

His hands, heavily scarred already, sported a few new scratches from when he’d mishandled the equipment and accidentally cut himself. His hands were still shaky, not nearly as firm as they’d once been.

Chiaki could see a trash can nearby. Tissues that had been dyed red sat atop the other waste. She made a mental note to bring him some disinfectant later, so he could wash out his wounds properly.

“You should eat something, at least,” she told Souda.

It was ironic. Years ago, her classmates had been the ones reminding her to eat and sleep. Now she was the one taking care of them as they recovered. They didn’t fight her, but she could see how uncomfortable it made them, being vulnerable in such a manner.

All of them needed the extra help. All of them except Kamukura, who she refused to interact with, and who refused to interact with any of the other Future Foundation employees.

She’d seen him speaking with Sonia once, but he’d turned around and walked off as soon as she set foot inside the room.

“We’re all going to have dinner together,” Chiaki continued. “Well… everyone except _him_.”

She couldn’t disguise the disgust in her voice.

Souda gave her a hard stare. Chiaki’s eyes widened, not used to this level of scrutiny from him. “What’s your deal with him?” he asked, his tone accusing. “I know what he did, but we’ve all done way worse shit! Why d’you always go outta your way to avoid him?”

Chiaki flinched, taking a step back.

 _Because he took my trust and he used it against me,_ she wanted to say. _Because he used_ me _. For my body, or to make him feel better, or-- I don’t know! All I know is that I feel gross and slimy when he’s around, because…_

...because she’d never cared about anybody so much before. Everything they had been before the Neo World Program was gone. She could only assume it meant nothing to him, because he’d been willing to throw it all away.

But she couldn’t say any of that, not even to Souda, who’d been one of her closest friends before Enoshima had gotten her claws in him.

“It’s not like you’re friends with him,” Chiaki muttered, her body going cold as she stared at the ground.

It hurt, to keep this from him.

She wanted to overflow so badly. She wanted to just burst and let loose all the emotion she was holding inside, the pain and the fear and the regret that was all bundled up inside her like the knots in Sonia’s hair.

But she was frozen, unable to let it go. She’d been holding onto it for so long that she had no idea how to release it. It was like it was woven into her very soul, this turmoil that threatened to engulf her, to make her forget who she was.

“No shit,” Souda snorted. “Dude’s scary as hell. But that Hinata guy in the program seemed pretty cool, so, y’know… maybe he’s still in there somewhere.”

Of course. He’d watched the recordings, so he knew about Hinata. She wasn’t the only one, anymore. Everyone saw what he’d done.

He’d saved them.

And what did he get in return? He got his former best friend looking him in the eyes, telling him “everything will be alright,” a bald faced lie so he would agree to shut the program down.

He got Chiaki, telling him to destroy himself _again_ for the sake of others.

He got erased.

And it was all because Chiaki had convinced him.

Now Hinata would never be back, and she could never trust Kamukura again, either.

In the final trial, she’d told Hinata that a miracle could happen. At the time, she’d truly believed it.

But as the days wore on, she’d begun to realize that they had used up all of their miracles.

She wanted to say so herself, but the look of hope in Souda’s eyes deflated her instantly. Chiaki sighed, fingering the DS in her hands.

“...maybe he is, Souda-kun,” she said. “Maybe he is.”

They were both silent for a moment. Souda looked at his hands, running the pads of his fingers over old scars. He’d never liked the silence before, but now he seemed at a loss. It was like he’d _wanted_ a fight. When he didn’t get one, he didn’t know what else to do with himself.

Finally, Souda mumbled, “D’you got any more stuff for me to fix…?”

Right back where they started.

“I’ll check with Naegi-kun,” Chiaki sighed. “He should be back here shortly.”

 _At least_ something _is getting fixed_ , Chiaki told herself as she exited the room. _The rest of us are just making things worse, it seems._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know exactly what's coming next for beautiful days and I DON'T WANNA WRITE IT EVEN THOUGH IT NEEDS TO BE DONE
> 
> i've been dragging my feet on updating for that exact reason. so the next update might be a while out, i'm not sure.


	7. Thaw

“NG Code:  _ Falling asleep before the time limit.” _

Chiaki eyed the bangle in her hand, rubbing her fingers over it, bleary-eyed and exhausted. Every little movement brought a bit of pain from the bullet wound in her shoulder, and she knew Asahina next to her wasn’t faring much better.

They’d both been left behind to tend to their injuries. Chiaki had wrapped Asahina’s leg as carefully as she could, and Asahina had used her tie to try and slow Chiaki’s bleeding. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do.

It was up to Naegi now. 

“Nanami-chan,” Asahina mumbled, wincing as she scooted closer. “Are you sure you want to stay here with me…? You don’t have to, y’know. I’ll be fine on my own.”

She knew Asahina was just trying to be brave. It was part of who she was, at this point. She’d seen just as much shit as Chiaki had, but she still managed to keep smiling. It was one of the reasons she admired her.

“I won’t be much help to Naegi-kun anyway,” Chiaki sighed. “I’d rather stay here and make sure you’re okay.”

Asahina’s head dropped to rest on Chiaki’s uninjured shoulder. Startled, Chiaki glanced down at her. A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and slid down her face.

Chiaki rested her head against Asahina’s. She opened her mouth, but no words would come. They all tumbled around inside her, sharp and painful like the hole in her shoulder. They were bleeding in more ways than one, she figured. The entire day-- no, the past six months-- had been stressful.

When Naegi, Togami, Kirigiri, and Nanami had turned themselves in, they weren’t exactly expecting  _ fanfare _ . So they weren’t too surprised when each of them were ordered to stay under house arrest with strict supervision.

They’d paced the confines of their prison like animals. They weren’t allowed contact with each other. They were routinely questioned, and depending on the whims of their guards, denied food or water. No word came from the island.

_ Six months _ of that. Half a year, and then Naegi was brought out in chains, Kirigiri and Nanami tagging along with him. And instead of a proper trial, they were forced to participate in this joke of a Killing Game.

...and now, most of the leaders of Future Foundation were dead.

Somebody would have to answer for this, one way or the other.

Chiaki shivered. She figured it was just the blood loss that sent a chill down her spine, but then she heard a gun cock. 

As she looked up, the shot went off, and she choked back the shocked scream that bubbled up in her throat. Asahina let out her own shout, trying to struggle to her feet.

In the next second, the man who’d fired slumped over, collapsing on the floor in front of her. There was a fresh bullet hole in the wall next to her.

Chiaki didn’t know how to react.

It was Asahina who spoke first, letting herself fall back to the floor. “You’re…” Her bright blue eyes blinked, observing the man with cropped hair who’d just appeared before them. 

“Kamukura-kun!?”

_...what? _

Chiaki lifted her head again. Her eyes met his as a blubbering Tsumiki stumbled across the hall to them, nearly tripping in her haste to get there. The nurse fell to her knees in front of Chiaki and immediately began inspecting her injuries, an outpouring of unintelligible babbling coming from her mouth.

Chiaki and Kamukura just stared at each other.

_ His hair is short. Why is his hair short? He never even let anyone trim it before! Is this some sort of trick? Is he trying to get my sympathy back? But… why would he want it? Why is he here? Why is-- _

Tsumiki.

“Tsumiki-san!?” Chiaki gasped, angling her head back to the girl who’d already cut her sleeve off. She winced as Tsumiki poked around the hole.

“Y-yes!?” Tsumiki nearly dropped the gauze she was holding.

She hadn’t registered a damn thing Tsumiki had said in her haste to get there. It had all been static in her head, her eyes fixated on the sight of Kamukura in front of her. The rest of the world continued to buzz around her, and she hadn’t even noticed it.

“You’re… you were  _ comatose _ !”

Tsumiki blushed. “Hi-Hinata-san created a p-program to bring us back…” she explained.

Once again, Chiaki couldn’t help but stare at Kamukura, who’d crouched by Asahina and was talking to her in a low voice.

She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel about this.

Thankfully, the pain from Tsumiki cleaning out her wound soon overrode everything else. Chiaki rested the back of her head against the wall, welcoming any excuse not to think at the moment. Nothing made sense anymore.

_ Fine,  _ she thought angrily. Tsumiki took the gauze in her other hand and gently pressed it against Chiaki’s shoulder, acknowledging that it would need proper care later, but this was all they could do at the moment.  _ This is fine. Kamukura’s posing as Hinata again, or… Tsumiki is mistaken. Hinata-kun is gone. Hinata-kun is GONE! _

_ Why are you so upset about this? You should be happy! _

_...shut up. _

Tsumiki finished with the bandages. She rose from her spot on the floor and moved over to Asahina, who welcomed her with a pained smile.

From there, Chiaki watched Hinata-- Kamukura--  _ whoever _ \-- out of the corner of her eye. She felt more like a caged animal than she had during her house arrest, penned in by a predator, unable to escape.

The thing was… he  _ looked _ like Hinata. When she watched him as he talked to Asahina, she saw a ghost of a rueful smile flit up onto his normally impassive face. He’d even made a joke, something Kamukura only did in situations where it would assert his superiority. Even then, his “jokes” were incredibly dry and humorless.

Chiaki wondered why she’d ever loved him.

But as he straightened up, she accidentally caught his eye again. For an extended moment, they simply stared at each other.

The crimson shade of his eyes was distinctly Izuru. But they softened, worry lines showing on his face, as if he’d aged since she’d last seen him. She noticed the dark circles, the way he ran his hand through his hair as if nervous, how loose his tie was.

Her outrage broke and fizzled out. Chiaki still didn’t know if she wanted to kiss him or slap him.

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he made his way over to her, nonchalance obviously forced. Mere seconds later, he removed his hands as if to make a statement, but they fell limply back to his sides.

Then he offered her his right hand. The expression on his face was impossible to read.

A similar scenario, played out years before, flashed through her mind. Back in Enoshima’s dungeon, somebody had patched up her wounds and put his hand out to her. She’d refused it then, wanting to stand on her own. Strange, how she’d forgotten until now.

This time, she took the offered hand, feeling how familiar his grip was. He carefully pulled her up to her feet.

“We really should stop meeting like this,” Hinata said sheepishly.

Chiaki scowled at him. “You  _ think? _ ”

He winced, expecting harsher punishment. She just took another step forward and rested her forehead against his shoulder, loosely putting her arms around him. 

It hurt to move. The pain in her shoulder hadn’t gone away, only diminished somewhat.

Hinata hesitated for a moment. Then he did the same, pulling her into a hug that was careful of her injuries, his cheek pressed against the top of her head.

“You were right,” he murmured.

Chiaki wrinkled her nose. “About what?” she asked.

(Not that it wasn’t its own victory, to have Izuru admit she was right about  _ anything. _ )

Hinata opened his mouth to reply, but he bit his tongue and swallowed the response he’d intended to give. “Nevermind,” he stated. “I’ll tell you later.”

Chiaki let out a sigh of exasperation. She pulled back from him, though he tried to linger, unwilling to let her go so soon. “Don’t think this means I’m  _ not _ still mad at you,” she warned. There was too much left unsaid.

They’d spoken once before she left the island. A simple goodbye, where she’d left him a notepad with information about her former classmates on it… and the familiar Gameboy she’d bought at the pawn shop years before.

She’d kept it on her all that time, but in the end, she’d given it up. Not because she felt it was rightfully his-- at the time, he hadn’t changed a bit-- but because she felt she didn’t deserve it anymore. Not after what happened with the program.

Which was  _ mostly _ his fault, even if Chiaki regretted the actions she’d taken to try and salvage the situation.

Hinata’s face went cold and distant again. In that moment, Chiaki saw Izuru, whether she liked it or not. “...fine,” he muttered.

A million words danced on the tip of Chiaki’s tongue. They’d have to wait, because they had something more important to tend to.

“Mitarai-kun,” she reminded him.

No time to be bitter and resentful now.

“I’m aware,” he retorted in the same frosty tone.

Apparently, Hinata disagreed with her. Chiaki ground her teeth in frustration. She was five seconds from snapping at him when Tsumiki stumbled, tripping over Asahina’s foot as she turned around.

She face planted, arms outstretched. “I-I’m sorry!” she cried out. 

Some habits were hard to break. At the very least the position she fell in wasn’t  _ nearly _ as compromising as it once would have been. It was practically wholesome.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry--” both Hinata and Chiaki began to say.

“...for,” Chiaki finished alone as Hinata cut himself off.

They sighed in sync.

Asahina, helping Tsumiki to stand again, gave Chiaki a grin that said everything.

_ Don’t you dare,  _ Chiaki shot back at her silently.

Hinata had already turned away. When Chiaki blinked, he was gone. Logically, she knew he had to still be there somewhere, but his uncanny ability to “disappear” made it useless to try and pick him out.

Kamukura, with Hinata’s memories, would never choose to accept that part of him… would he? Would Hinata be able to accept the ludicrous amounts of talent Kamukura contained, and his self-centered, egotistical view of the world?

He wasn’t Hinata or Kamukura. Those two existences were polar opposites, too conflicting to coexist. So… was he somebody entirely new, then? Somebody who wasn’t Hinata or Kamukura, still containing both somehow?

_ You can make your own future. _

She wondered if there’d be room in it for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chiaki: i dont think i know if hes hinata or kamukura right now  
> hajizuru: bitch me too. the fuck?
> 
> only epilogues left!! hhhhhh im so close  
> trying to balance this and my chiaki rp blog has been. Interesting


	8. EPILOGUE

_ It’s over. _

That was the thought that plagued her mind ceaselessly, even haunting her as she slept her way through the boat ride back to Jabberwock. Normally such a thing was impossible for her, given her anxiety about the ocean and her seasickness, but Chiaki was so exhausted that by the time she got herself to a comfortable position on the ship, she was fast asleep.

The others let her sleep. Though they were excited to see her, they decided it wasn’t worth disturbing her, especially when Hinata warned them about how she usually fared during sea travel.

It was still weird, to think of him as Hinata rather than Kamukura… or Izuru, if she dredged up the memories going back far enough.

Parts of the island had been cleared out, Chiaki found when they arrived. It wasn’t a drastic change, but while they were waiting for the rest of their friends to wake up, the survivors had started cleaning things up. The cottages, once crumbling, were rebuilt, and much of the undergrowth that had grown during the Tragedy was cleared away from the first island.

Another small miracle that was attributed to Hinata’s work ethic. Chiaki and her coworkers from Future Foundation had spent months in containment, waiting for trial, and during that time it seemed as if Hinata had worked himself to the bone in order to get the facilities up and running again.

Not at first, though, she was told. At first… he’d been his usual self, cold and aloof, never very present for anything, even after Chiaki had left. The change was gradual. Sonia was the only one who saw the shift happening in real time, as she was the only one he’d deign to interact with on occasion.

Chiaki was shown to a cottage that had been put aside for her.  _ They knew I’d stay?  _ she wondered, staring at the mostly empty room before she put her bag down. Her shoulder had been bothering her for some time now, but at the moment, it was the last thing on her mind.

“Hinata-san suggested we clear this out for you before we left,” Sonia explained.

Of course he did. One thing hadn’t changed, and that was his uncanny ability to predict just about everything.

Chiaki sighed, limping further into the room. The boat ride had only amounted to a few hours, so she was still exhausted and rather cranky. Normally, she’d love the thought of spending time with the best friend she’d only recently gotten back.

But now she turned to Sonia with an apologetic smile on her face. “I’m sorry, Sonia-san… can I… be alone for a while?” she asked, corners of her mouth tugging up painfully.

Sonia blinked those blue eyes, confusion replaced with concern and then gradual acceptance. “Of course, Nanami-san,” she said smoothly, hurt by Chiaki’s desire to be by herself, but covering it up as quickly as it surfaced.

Chiaki pressed her hands together and dipped her head repeatedly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Mollified, Sonia just gave her a sad smile and retreated. “I understand. Please do not worry about me.”

She closed the door behind her.

For some time now, something had been bubbling up inside her. She’d kept a firm lock on it, even as it threatened to drown her, but now that she was alone… she had to let it go. There was no more holding it back.

The tears began to fall even before her smile faded. Chiaki didn’t know why she was crying, but the sobs welled up as she backpedaled to the worn-out bed they’d given her.

_ Isn’t this a happy ending? Why aren’t you happy? _

She  _ was _ happy.

That was what scared her.

_ What’s wrong with you? _

She was afraid of how quickly it might be taken away from her, just like before.

Chiaki sat, folding in on herself. Everything hurt, her chest feeling like it was tearing itself apart, her shoulder throbbing underneath the bandages she’d been given. A weight had been lifted off her, so great that the absence of it was absolutely terrifying to her.

_ Is this a happy ending…? What about everyone else? _

They’d have to live with the things they’d done forever, bearing the burden of despair on their shoulders. And she, too, would eventually have to leave, as she’d promised Naegi. Once she was certain the Remnants were safe and secure on Jabberwock, she was going to help Naegi rebuild the world from the ground up.

She went where she was needed. That was how it had to be, however much she might want to stay.

Chiaki just kept crying, burying her face in her arms. Her shoulders shook as she brought her knees up to her chest, sobs now muffled. She could try to contain it again, but she’d learned it was better to just let it happen.

There was a soft click within the room. She looked up, eyes and face wet.

A box of tissues sat near her feet. It hadn’t been there before.

The door, partially open, shut quietly.

“No!” Chiaki cried out, then bit her tongue. The interjection had come before she could stop it and think about what she was doing. She tried to compose herself, sniffing as she stared out the window. “Don’t… go. Please.” Her voice was embarrassingly raw.

A moment of extended silence, where she thought she might have been imagining everything, simply because she wanted it to be true.

And then the door slowly creaked open again. Hinata poked his face around the corner, his expression apologetic. “Sorry,” he told her. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

But she’d noticed him, so that meant he’d  _ wanted _ to be noticed. All this time, and he still couldn’t be straightforward about his feelings. That was just the way he was, though, even before the project had warped him.

Chiaki bit her lip, not saying anything. Hinata came further into the room, shutting the door behind him. His hesitance was clear, but after a moment of thought, he approached her as he might a skittish animal and sat down on the bed next to her.

She rested her head against his shoulder. Tears continued to streak down her face, and she couldn’t stop the occasional hiccup of distress, but otherwise, she was silent. After another pause, Hinata scooted closer and put his arm around her, leaning his head against hers.

He sighed. Neither of them spoke. They didn’t have to-- words might have spoiled the moment, just like when they’d met earlier. 

The tissue box was all but forgotten, Chiaki wanting to wait until she got it out of her system because she wasn’t certain about their supply levels. It was never  _ truly _ over, after all. There were no credits that would play over a montage of moments captured over the course of the game. Life just… continued.

There was just a little spark of hope between them, but it was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last year on my birthday i drew myself some hina/kamunami as a bday present to myself, and this year i finally finish up the last of my unfinished writing projects on my birthday! ...which also conveniently contains hina/kamunami.
> 
> what i'm saying is, give me hina/kamunami for my birthday, always
> 
> IMPORTANT: im very uncertain as to whether i'm going to continue working on fic here at all. if you're still interested in my writing chiaki, you're welcome to contact me privately (not sure if there's a way here, but my art tumblr is memefair) and i'll be willing to give you the link to my roleplay blog so long as you promise to follow certain rules for interacting over there. it's uncommon for rp blogs to be friendly with non-rp blogs, but it doesn't bother me so long as you understand i have rules for making my life easier there, particularly in regards to notifications. it's also kind of fun to have more people slinging ideas at me/asking me questions, too, honestly.

**Author's Note:**

> komaeda nagito drank all my pepsi and called me a bitch
> 
> make sure to check for the companion piece, re: beautiful days which will be published side by side with re: beautiful ruin!  
> optional playlist bc i already have it made (tho its unlisted) https://8tracks.com/lyrasen/promise-me-they-ll-fall


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